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Corn For The Watercooler

On: Monday, September 26, 2011

ABDICATE:  To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
ARBITRATOR:  A cook that leaves Arby's to work at Burger King.
ATHEISM: a non-prophet organization (George Carlin)
AVOIDABLE:  What a bullfighter tries to do.
BALDERDASH:  A rapidly receding hairline.
BARIUM:  What we do to most people when they die.
CANTALOUPE:  Gotta get married in a church.
CATALOGS:  Rails used to build cow fences.
COFFEE:  A person who is coughed upon.
COMMITTEE:  A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.
CONTROL:   A short, ugly inmate.
HEROES:  What a guy in a boat does. 
IMPREGNABLE:  A woman whose memory of labor is still vivid.
MISTY: How golfers create divots.
MYTH:  A female moth.
MOSQUITO:  An insect that makes you like flies better.
OYSTER:  A person who sprinkles conversation with Yiddish expressions. 
POLYGON:  A dead parrot.
PRENATAL:  When your life was still somewhat your own.
PRIMATE:  Removing your husband from in front of the TV.
PRIVATE TUTOR:  Someone who doesn't fart in public.
SEAMSTRESS:  Describes 250 pounds in a size 6.

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