Corn For The Watercooler

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ABDICATE:  To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

ARBITRATOR:  A cook that leaves Arby's to work at Burger King.

ATHEISM: a non-prophet organization (George Carlin)

AVOIDABLE:  What a bullfighter tries to do.

BALDERDASH:  A rapidly receding hairline.

BARIUM:  What we do to most people when they die.

CANTALOUPE:  Gotta get married in a church.

CATALOGS:  Rails used to build cow fences.

COFFEE:  A person who is coughed upon.

COMMITTEE:  A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.

CONTROL:   A short, ugly inmate.

HEROES:  What a guy in a boat does. 

IMPREGNABLE:  A woman whose memory of labor is still vivid.

MISTY: How golfers create divots.

MYTH:  A female moth.

MOSQUITO:  An insect that makes you like flies better.

OYSTER:  A person who sprinkles conversation with Yiddish expressions. 

POLYGON:  A dead parrot.

PRENATAL:  When your life was still somewhat your own.

PRIMATE:  Removing your husband from in front of the TV.

PRIVATE TUTOR:  Someone who doesn't fart in public.

SEAMSTRESS:  Describes 250 pounds in a size 6.

Gene Tracy - Truckstop #3 Gene Tracy Serves You 1972

Gene Tracy	Ivan Eugene Morris	Anadarko, Oklahoma, USA
Apr 08 1927 - 1979 age ~52	Official Site	Wikipedia

Gene Tracy was like a white Redd Foxx. He took old jokes we have all heard before and told them to small audiences in nightclubs, and apparently truck stops. Unlike Redd Foxx, however, his timing and delivery are borderline incompetent, and he is noticeably loaded throughout the unmarked tracks. Why give it five stars? I can't stop listening to it! I ponder questions like, ''where is he performing? Is it really at a truck stop?'' and ''how much cheap wine did he drink before he went on stage?'' It's almost like a form of meditation for me. Source: Barnes & Noble

01 Intro, Dust, Trip Around the World, This Ain't Your Day, Flunked Spelling 2:57

02 Honeymoon, Cut Me Off, Atomic Explosion, That's Too Big 3:38

03 Japanese Bath House, Hertz Rent-A-Camel 2:44

04 Charlie McDaniels at the Dr., Could I Have a Cup of Coffee 4:08

05 The Prostitute Club, You Look Bad 2:02

06 Cinderella, Teenage Game, Home from the War 3:30

07 Forgot to Turn Off the Switch, Fraternity Initiation, The 87th Floor 3:22

08 Fever Blister, Flossie, Seven Day Old Sandwich 3:52

09 The Old Hippie, Waiters, Two Volkswagons 1:56

10 Elephant and the Waitress, Picked Up by the Fuzz, I'd Like to Get ... 2:32

Alternate track list:

01 Dust In it

02 Around the World

03 This Ain't Your Day

04 Wax Job

05 Vapor Locked

06 Can't Piss Through It

07 Can't Hold Out On A Nice Guy

08 Prostitute Club

09 Look Bad; Feel Good

10 Peter, Peter

11 hand Grenades

12 Airline Hostess

13 Where'd That CS Go

14 Fever Blister

15 Sign Blew Down

16 The Wind

17 Buffalo Hunter

18 Tight Last Night

19 Gold Commode

	Standup		Crown 1972 & Party Time Productions 1974 & Good Time Records 1996
ENJOY!
His other material on this blog is HERE   The following are WANTED
Truckstop 1: A Truck Stop Is the Best Place to Eat		Truckstop 18: Born With Bad Luck
Truckstop 8: The Great Insult (With Wild Man Steve)		Truckstop 19: Goes to England
Truckstop 9: Sophisticated Truck Driver		Truckstop 20: Twelve Martinis
Truckstop 11: Cleans Up His Act		Truckstop 21: A Night on Bourbon Street (With Jackie Dunn)
Truckstop 12: More Truck Stop Comedy		Truckstop 22: Funny Face
Truckstop 13: I Like Drunks		Truckstop 23: Ol' Red Eyes Is Back
Truckstop 14: Bartender Wanted		Truckstop 24: Mr. Truckstop Visits the Madam of Bourbon Street (With Jackie Dunn)
Truckstop 15: Another Wild Night		Truckstop 25: Live From Charlotte, NC
Truckstop 16: Sweet Sixteen		Truckstop 26 More Live From Charlotte NC
Truckstop 17: My Home Town		Gene Tracy & Other Classic Comedians - Happy Comedy

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Earle Doud - Earle Doud's Celebrity Workout 1983

Earle Doud	Birth name	New York City, New York, USA
Feb 14 1927 - Oct 19 1998 age 71	Official Site	Wikipedia

Rich Little	Richard Caruthers Little	Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
Nov 26 1938 -	Official Site	Wikipedia

Fred Travalena	Frederick Albert Travalena III	Bronx, New York, USA
Oct 06 1942 – Jun 28 2009 age 66	Official Site	Wikipedia

Comedy writer/producer Earle Doud penned jokes for such television comics as Johnny Carson, Jack Paar, and Jonathan Winters and for the popular television series Father Knows Best in the 1950s and early '60s. His debut album, Sounds Funny, took a humorous look at sound effects.
Doud's most successful outing was an album, The First Family, recorded on October 27, 1962, that poked fun at President John F. Kennedy's White House. Written and produced with Bob Booker and featuring Vaughn Meader as the President and Naomi Brossart as the First Lady, it was a phenomenal success, selling more than seven and a half million copies. Although a second volume, released in the spring of 1963, received an equally warm reception, it was pulled from the marketplace following Kennedy's assassination on November 22, 1963.
The American presidency continued to be a source for Doud's humor, as he subsequently wrote and produced similar albums Lyndon Johnson's Lonely Hearts Club Band with Alen Robin in 1967 and The First Family Rides Again, which spoofed the Ronald Reagan era, in 1981. He also produced and wrote an album, Spiro T. Agnew Is a Riot, parodying Nixon's vice president, in 1971. Souce: allmusic.com

01 Earle's Intro - Warmup - Richard Nixon

02 Waving & Reaching - Mr Rogers

03 Legs & Hips - Jimmy Carter

04 Abdominals - Mr T

05 Leg Stretches & Turkey Stuff - Julia Child

06 Buttocks - Gerald Ford

07 The Cool Down - Ronald Reagan

08 Advanced Workout - Jimmy Stewart

09 Hidden Track - Yoda

	Capitol 12312
	Impersonations
Enjoy!

Harvard Lampoon - Surprising Sheep And Other Mind Excursions 1968

Harvard Lampoon	Birth name	Birthplace
Born/Died	Official Site	Wikipedia

Featuring parodies of Bob Dylan, The Rolling Stones and others.

01 One Born Every Minute 

02 Seventeen Miles from Waukegan My Cantaloupe Died

03 God

04 What I've Been Needin'

05 Lazy Summer

06 Cape Horn

07 Little Miss Muffet

08 The Surprising Sheep

09 Welcome to the Club

10 Recipe for Love

11 In the Palm of My Hand

12 Lazy Summer (Reprise)

13 Messy, Messy, Messy

	Epic BN-26462
	Parody
Enjoy!

Rae Bourbon - Let Me Tell You About My Operation 1950s

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Rae Bourbon	Ray Bourbon Hal Wadell, Texarkana b. 1892 Ramon Icarez,  Chihuahua b. 1898 Richard F Mann (pen name)	Texarkana, Texas or Chihuahua, Texas
1892 or 1989 - 1971	Unofficial Site	Unofficial Bio

Ray Bourbon, was in my opinion the leading drag artist of the early years,  and by far the most prolific regarding recordings, issuing around 40 78 rpm  records, and over a dozen albums. Shown here are many of his albums, issued during the 1950s. Starting in vaudeville he attracted the attention of Mae West, who cast him in two of her shows. Around 1956 he concocted the ingenious gimmick of claiming to have had a sex change operation, which he milked for the rest of his career. He even entitled one of his albums, "Let Me Tell You About My Operation," and at that time changed his name from Ray to Rae. Colorful to the last, in 1968 he went to prison as an accomplice in a murder, stemming from a dispute over pet dogs, and he died in prison, of a heart attack in July of 1971. Diamond Lil, my feature interview for this show, remembers seeing Rae perform, and relates a couple of her memories of him. Source: queermusicheritage.us

Founder of UTC (Under The Counter) Label.

01 Let Me Tell You About My Operation

02 Oh Doctor

03 I'm In The Family Way

04 Mrs Willoughby Will Definitely Object

05 When I Said, No To Joe

06 I Don't Want To Be A Madam

07 Millie

08 The Piano Teacher

09 Telephone Girl At The Ritz

	Under The Counter UTC-7
	Queer Comedy
Enjoy!

Rae Bourbon - You're Stepping On My Eyelashes 1950s

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Rae Bourbon	Ray Bourbon Hal Wadell, Texarkana b. 1892 Ramon Icarez,  Chihuahua b. 1898 Richard F Mann (pen name)	Texarkana, Texas or Chihuahua, Texas
1892 or 1989 - 1971	Unofficial Site	Unofficial Bio

Rae Bourbon started in show business in silent movies and English music hall and, in the 1930s and 40s, was known for his gay themed nightclub review and performances in San Francisco, Los Angeles and many other cities.
"You're Stepping on My Eyelashes" was recorded and released in the 1950s and was the second album self-published by Ray on the UTC (or "Under the Counter") label. The album; sold at Bourbon's nightclub dates, via mail order, and in select record shops; consists of studio versions of some of Ray's popular nightclub songs. A 10" version of this album was released which omitted "Tom Thumb" and "The Party Line"; these files were mastered from the 12" version of the LP. Source: www.archive.org

Founder of UTC (Under The Counter) Label.

01 Life Goes to a Party

02 Queen of the YMCA

03 Back in Drag Again

04 Queen of the Ballet

05 The Family Tree

06 Queen of the Navy

07 I Must Have a Greek

	Under The Counter UTC-2
	Queer/Gay/Drag Comedy
Enjoy!

Yakov Smirnoff - What A Country 1994

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Yakov Smirnoff	Yakov Naumovich Pokhis (Russian: Яков Наумович Похис, Ukrainian: Яків Наумович Похис)	Odessa, Ukrainian SSR, Soviet Union
Jan 24 1951 -	Official Site	Wikipedia

Yakov Smirnoff was popular in the 1980s for comedy performances in which he used irony and word play to contrast life under the Communist regime in his native Soviet Union with life in the United States, delivered in heavily accented English. He has a theatre in Branson, Missouri, where he performs year-round. Yakov is also a professor at Missouri State University and Drury University where he teaches "The Business of Laughter."

Smirnoff was born in Odessa, Ukraine, then part of the Soviet Union. He is of Jewish descent. He was an art teacher in Odessa and continues to paint. He came to the United States in 1977 and became an American citizen on 4 July 1986. Smirnoff spent a portion of his early days in the United States working as a bartender at Grossingers Hotel in the Catskill Mountains of New York and living in the employee dormitory. Source: Wikipedia (excerpts)

01-13 Tracks 01-13

	Clyde Records, Inc.
	Stand-up
Enjoy!

Rusty Warren - More Knockers Up 1965

Rusty Warren	Ilene Goldman	New York City NY USA
Mar 17 1931 -	Official Site eMail Rusty	Wikipedia

   Known as the Knockers Up Gal, she has frequently been called the mother of the sexual revolution. Her career began in the early 1950s in Phoenix, Arizona. Later she moved her act to Las Vegas, Nevada. Her comedy routines exposed the subject of sex from a female perspective. Her most famous contribution to the sexual revolution was the song "Knockers Up" from the 1960 album of the same name. The women in the audience were encouraged to stand up and march through the room with "their knockers held high." This was followed by the song "Bounce Your Boobies" in which Warren encouraged women to relieve themselves of their bras.

   Her material was considered very advanced for its day and considered extremely raunchy. Her albums were tucked away by many parents so their children could not listen to them. She was the first comedian to openly discuss sex at a time when sex was just not discussed publicly. She lost popularity as the sexual revolution of the late 60's started to take hold and the topic was no longer taboo. Source: Wikipedia

Recorded Live At The Anaheim Bowl, California

	Jubilee – JGM 2059
	Musical Comedy
Enjoy!

Rich Little - My Fellow Canadians 1963

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Rich Little	Richard Caruthers Little	Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
Nov 26 1938 -	Official Site	Wikipedia

Born and raised in Ottawa, Canada, Rich is one of three sons of a prominent physician. He began doing impressions as a youngster, responding to the teachers' questions in their own voices. Teaming with a friend, he earned his first payment as an impressionist at age 17. The pair won a talent contest on a Canadian television show and went on to appear on variety programs throughout Canada. Rich later went solo, becoming a successful disc jockey and talk-show host in Ottawa.
As an actor, he performed in forty productions with the Ottawa Little Theatre over a period of ten years. In his early twenties, he recorded his first of nine comedy albums, My Fellow Canadians. It became the best-selling comedy album in Canadian history and made him nationally famous. In 1964, his friend, singer Mel Torme, introduced him to the American public on The Judy Garland Show.
Rich has appeared on countless variety shows over the years, often hosting The Tonight Show. He starred in his own weekly series, The Rich Little Show, and on the TV show, Kopy Kats. He has appeared on soap operas and numerous television dramas. He has made three HBO comedy specials, including Rich Little's Christmas Carol, in which he played all the roles of the Dickens classic, winning top prizes at the Montreux Festival in Switzerland and earning an Emmy in the United States. He has appeared in several movies, recently starring as Johnny Carson in the HBO movie, The Late Shift.
Over the years, Rich has been active with children's charities. He was co-host of the Canadian division of the Children's Miracle Network. He was inducted into the Miami Children's Hospital International Pediatrics Hall of Fame for his charitable work, and in 1983, the Ottawa Civic Hospital named an expanded nursing facility the Rich Little Special Care Nursery.
Rich has won numerous awards. He has twice received the Cleveland Amory Award as Best Guest on a Television Talk Show and was named Comedy Star of the Year by the American Guild of Variety Artists. In June 1998, he will add his star to the Canadian Walk of Fame to go along with his current star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. He has performed for the British royal family many times. On the occasion of Ottawa's 150th anniversary, he was honored as one of its most famous citizens.  Source: Famous Canadians

01 Radio-TV Press Conference 4:08
02 Tribute To A Canadien 1:07
03 The Intruder 1:01
04 The Quiz Contestant 3:19
05 Hockey Night In Canada 0:40
06 Grey Cup Kick-off 1:26
07 Decision 1:40
08 Parliamentary Theatre 2:17
09 Bedtime Story With Mr. Canada 1:36

10 Fight Night 1:47
11 Enjoyment Or Annoyment 0:51
12 The All Canadian 1:22
13 Her Majesty 1:06
14 Active Retirement 2:57
15 The Birthday 2:13
16 One More Time 0:48
17 Fighting Birds 5:10
18 In Conclusion 0:48

	Capitol T6028
	Stand-up
Thanks daddio52!