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Homework Missing Excuses - Checklist

On: Saturday, April 3, 2010

Dear <3rd grade English teacher>

Please pardon Ryan G for not returning his assignment with my signature.

O    He was very sick.
O    I was very sick.
O    Everybody was sick. Please feel sorry for us and have mercy.
O    The dog ate it.
O    The hamster ate it.
O    I ate it. We had Mexican for dinner and I thought it was a square tortilla.
O    The dog made a bed out of it.
O    The hamster made a bed out of it.
O    The dog and the hamster ran away together to Tijuana, with his homework. We will miss them but wish them luck.  They will need it.
O     The wind whisked it away, lofted it up to the clouds, and it hasn’t come down yet.
O     Terrorists stole his schoolbag.
X     He left it in my car when I dropped him off at school.  It has shoe prints all over it now.
O      I signed it but left it on the kitchen table. Dull, but true.
O      It was folded up, in his pocket all the time.  Have mercy.
O      He already gave it to you. YOU messed up.
O      A Pokemon critter transformed it into his math homework. You already saw it and returned it.
O      He messed up.  NAIL HIM!
O       I messed up and threw it away. But it WAS signed.
O      He fell asleep working on his latest theorem and lost it in a stack of papers in his briefcase. So far:  E=mc3.    Sooooo close.
O      He left it in a business meeting he had earlier that morning, before school.
O      It fell into a paper shredder. Really, truly, honestly.  It could happen.
O      CNN is doing a story on it and kept the original.
O       Aliens stole it.  They signed it.  They returned it to me.   I am afraid to give it to you because it glows.

Sincerely,Mr. G
(Yes, I really did give this to his teacher. It worked. Once.)

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