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People I'd like to thank in person #1

On: Friday, October 1, 2010

There are a few people I'd like to meet, in person, in a small room somewhere, to thank them for their contributions to today's society. I'd like to meet:

The criminal banker who dreamed up charging cash machine fees - paying a fee to take your own money from the bank while they save on teller salaries.

The "genius" who fucked with TV schedules so that the best shows' season starts willy-nilly during the year, skips weeks, and ends "whenever" while changing time slots from day to day and time to time.

The moron who started showing advertisements across the bottom of the TV screen, which, by the way, are getting larger and larger. We LOVE a 19 minute half hour show!

The knuckleheads who show TV commercials and movie previews that reveal the best part of the movie.

The narcissistic, infected pimple head who invented reality shows, like we give a shit.

The greedy bastards who changed cable from "subscription TV with no commercials" to "pay for TV or get nothing"

the pinheads who changed gas stations to self-serve but still charge premium rates.

the nitwit who decided to put ANYTHING else besides phone services on a FUCKING CELL PHONE, so the phones and the services make them millionaires while we just want a phone that can MAKE A CALL ANYWHERE.

the douche bag who started paying athletes millions of dollars so we could eventually pay $100 per seat.

the smarties who charge more for a liter of water than for a liter of gasoline, and double boner points to the people who buy the water.

1 comments on "People I'd like to thank in person #1"

czell said...

Excellent list!

I hate multiple use items!

"But honey! It's a toaster AND a speculum!"

Please, manufacturers, stop it! The last time you got it right was the clock/radio. And when was that? Three hundred years ago? Stop! You're embarrassing yourselves. No one needs a flashlight/razor. No one! No one needs a hedge trimmer/umbrella no matter what marketing says.

So, ah, yeah Jim, I really like your list.

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