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Scams, my favorite topic

On: Monday, December 6, 2010

From: Mrs. Stella Ibe []
Sent: Monday, December 06, 2010 6:40 AM
Subject: Your immediate response is awaited

Mrs. Stella Ibe

Dear Beneficiary ,

Having reviewed all the obstacles and problems surrounding the transfer of your (USD3.500,000.00) and your inability to meet up with some charges levied against you due to the past transfer options, We the Board of Directors, Central Bank of Nigeria (CBN) has ordered our Foreign Payment Remittance Unit to issue you a CORPORATE VISA CARD where your payment will be uploaded and today, we got notice that your Payment has been uploaded into this CORPORATE VISA CARD and also have registered for delivery to you.

For your information, The delivery charges has been paid and they were supposed to have shipped your packaged VISA CARD but they insisted that you must re-confirm to them your current delivery address to ensure accurate Delivery.

MOST IMPORTANT: Due to the content of the package, FedEx mandated that before your package will be shipped, A Tax/Stamp Duty MUST be procured according to the New Customs Creed and the importance of such Document is to ensure a hitch-free delivery and the amount is USD260.00 USD.

Therefore re-confirm your current delivery address and forward to Rev.Charles Ekeh BELOW.

Your Full Name: ______________________________
Your Complete Address (Physical Address with Zip Code not P.O.BOX) : ____________
Name of City of Residence:_______________________________ Country:____________________________________
Direct Telephone Number: ___________________
Mobile Number:____________________________________
Working Identity Card/Int'l Passport:________________________________

NAME: Rev.Charles Ekeh
MOBILE: +2348032204837

Please hurry now as your package might incure demurrages if it stays more than 7days with FedEx.


Mrs. Stella Ibe
For the Management (CBN).

My response:
"STELLA"!! (I'm channeling Marlon Brando)

Jeez, using a $5 word. And nobody uses the word "mobile", it's "cellphone" here in the USA.   And you got the use of "ensure" right, most dummies use "insure."   But your use of a reverend's name, from which I should infer that I will be working with an honest man, doesn't "fit" in this email.   A reverend mixed up in a financial transaction just doesn't ring true.   Better to use the American version of a bonded, trustworthy financial agent, what we call "a shill."   Your message has a little bit of British tang to it.
Why don't your scams ever come in the regular mail (in the post, for you Brits)? Costs too much I guess. But think about it, it could look pretty authentic.
You ever notice the arrow between the "E" and the "X" in the FedEx logo? A subliminal message that, showing a company on the move, on the go.
Anyway, fuck off.

1 comments on "Scams, my favorite topic"

Laszlo said...

What a great read! Thanks for sharing!

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