Face(book) Reality

If you've been flirting with the idea of joining Facebook, here are some tips on what to expect. The rules: 

1. A lot depends on your age group. Experiences will differ. There are four age groups (see below.)
2. Crossover is always awkward. A picture of granny in a bikini on a young person's page sucks as much as a picture of a 16 year old on granny's page. Well, most of the time.
3. Watch out for creeps. Peeping Toms probably invented Facebook. And the internet.  They definitely invented Polaroid and digital cameras (umm, thank you.)
4. ALL AGE GROUPS have the following in common: gossip, flirting, badmouthing, axe-grinding, crying, photos that reveal too much, the best personalities and the worst. Just like real life!

Now here are the 4 age groups. Categorize yourself, STAY WITH YOUR GROUP and PLAY BY THE RULES!

Group 1, Up to 18 years old

1. gossip, flirting, badmouthing, crying
2. Keep it all private all the time, you knuckleheads.
3. Girls: talk to your moms about boys. They are all bad. And keep your damn clothes on.
4. Boys: shouldn't have a computer anyway. 10% school, 90% bad intentions. I was a boy, I know.
5. Parents: wake up and be parents!

Group 2, 18-30 years old

1. gossip, flirting, badmouthing, crying
2. Expect photos that reveal too much (hooray!)
3. drunken and puking photos - who wants to see that?
4. pics at bars, clubs, (good times!)
5. school and some job-type photos. These make money for FB

Group 3, 30 - 55  years old

1. gossip, flirting, badmouthing, crying
2. photos that reveal too much (gotta be in shape! LOOK IN THE MIRROR FIRST)
3. drunken and puking photos (sad now)
4. pics at bars, clubs (reunions now)
5. school and job-type photos
6. photos of grandchildren and some pets 

Group 4, 55-100 years old 

1. gossip (more), flirting (more), badmouthing (less), crying (more), INSULTS (funny)
2. "Facebook Confessional", finally revealed feelings for another. Actually, serves everyone well. Do it.
3. late life connections (very nice!)
4. photos that reveal too much (not so much now but please stop!)
5. photos in a hospital replace drunken and puking photos
6. pics at bars, clubs - who recognizes anyone? Use comments!
7. school photos - we've come full circle
8. mostly photos of pets and some of grandchildren
9. reading very sad news is the worst reason to go to Facebook, expect many punches to the gut when you find out who left us.

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This Day In Comedy: March 26

Born this day in 1934, Alan Arkin (Alan Wolf Arkin) is 78, Brooklyn, New York 5'10" comic actor Catch-22, Little Miss Sunshine.
Born this day in 1923, Bob Elliott (Robert Brackett Elliott) is 89, Boston, Massachusetts, comedian, Bob & Ray comedy team, Write If You Get Work.
Born this day in 1950, Martin Short (Martin Hayter Short) is 62, Hamilton, Ontario, Canada 5'6 comedian TV’s Saturday Night Live, Second City TV, movie The Three Amigos.
Born this day in 1964, Todd Barry  (Todd Andrew Barry) is 48, Bronx, New York 5'6" stand-up comedian, actor and voice actor.
Died this day in 2004, Connie Cezon (Consuelo Cezon) Oakland, California,  Three  Stooges shorts, “Gertie” on The Perry Mason Show. Born 03/28/1925, she died of complications from breast cancer surgery at age 78.
Died this day in 2001, Jackie Kahane, Montréal, Québec, Canada comedian. Born 09/29/1921, he died of cancer at age 79.
Died this day in 1973, Noel Coward (Noël Peirce Coward) Teddington, England playwright, composer, director, actor, singer. Born 12/16/1899, he died from heart failure at age 73.
Died this day in 2011, Roger Abbott, Birkenhead, England comedian Air Farce Live. Born 07/10/1946, he died from chronic lymphocytic leukemia at age 64.

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Royal Canadian Air Farce - Air Farce Live 1983 (Canada)

Roger Abbott	Birth name	Birkenhead, England
Jul 10 1946 - Mar 26 2011 age 64	Royal Air Farce	Wikipedia Wikipedia RAF

Dave Broadfoot	Birth name	North Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada
Dec 05 1925 -	Personal Site  Royal Air Farce	WikipediaWikipedia RAF

Don Ferguson	Birth name	Montreal, Quebec
May 30 1946 -	Royal Air Farce	WikipediaWikipedia RAF

Luba Goy	Birth name	Haltern, Germany
Nov 08 1945 -	Royal Air Farce	WikipediaWikipedia RAF

John Morgan	Birth name	Aberdare, Wales
Sep 21 1930 -	Royal Air Farce	WikipediaWikipedia RAF

01 Fill It Up 1:32

02 If You Believe 5:55

03 Blind Date 3:04

04 Have You Been Drinking? 4:18

05 The Emperor Speaks 3:39

06 Nifty Body Bags 1:39

07 Pastor Quagmire's Sermon 4:12

08 Please Report To Immigration 3:32

09 The Wrong Puzzle 4:36

10 Factory Baby Outlet 1:09

11 Bobby & Billy Clobber 4:58

12 Pickup Interruptus 3:03

13 The Honourable Member 6:15

	Canadian Broadcasting Company LM-482
	Skits
Thanks daddio52!

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This Day In Comedy: March 25

Born this day in 1967, Doug Stanhope (Douglas Gene Stanhope) is 45, Worcester, Massachusetts comedian.
Born this day in 1961, Fred Goss is 51, Orchard Lake, Michigan actor comedian and writer.
Born this day in 1953, Mary Gross (Mary Margaret Gross) is 59, Chicago, Illinois 5'8" actress, comedian TV’s Saturday Night Live, movies Club Paradise and Feds.
Born this day in 1932, Penelope Gilliatt (Penelope Ann Douglass Conner) London, England, novelist, short story writer, screenwriter, film critic. She died 05/09/1993 from the effects of alcoholism at age 61.
Died this day in 1982, Goodman Ace (Goodman Aiskowitz) Kansas City, Missouri humorist, comedian, radio, TV actor, master of malapropisms. Born 01/15/1899, he died at age 83.
Died this day in 2005, Paul Henning (Paul William Henning) Independence, Missouri created TV’s Beverly Hillbillies, wrote for Fibber McGee & Molly, Burns & Allen on radio, TV’s Love That Bob, Real McCoys, Andy Griffith Show. Born 09/16/1911, he died of natural causes at age 93.		Paul partially based the character of Elly May Clampett on daughter Linda Kaye Henning.

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Various Artists - Vaudeville's 60 Years Of Laughter Vol 1 & 2

Laurel & Hardy, Fanny Brice, WC Fields, Edgar Bergen & Charlie McCarthy, Mae West, George Jessel, Al Jolson, Bill Robinson, Sophie Tucker, Louis Armstrong, Abbott & Costello, Betty Hutton, Carol Channing, Zero Mostel, Marilyn Monroe, Joe E Lewis,  Frank Fontaine, Milton Berle, Buffalo Bob Smith	Birth name	Birthplace
Born/Died	Official Site	Wikipedia

01 Laurel & Hardy - In England

02 Fanny Brice - I'm An Indian

03 WC Fields, Edgar Bergen, Charlie McCarthy - A Feud

04 Mae West - A Guy What Takes His Time

05 George Jessel - A Phone Call To Mama

06 Al Jolson - Sister Susie Sewing Shirts For Soldiers

07 Bill Robinson - Doin' The New Low Down

08 Sophie Tucker - The Lady Is  A Tramp

09 Louis Armstrong - Jeepers Creepers

10 Laurel & Hardy - (More Of) In England

11 Abbott & Costello - Who's On First

12 Betty Hutton - Doctor, Lawyer, Indian Chief

13 Carol Channing - Cecilia Sisson

14 Zero Mostel - The Girl From Wheeling, West Virginia

15 Marilyn Monroe - Lazy

16 Joe E. Lewis - The Gin Rummy Song

17 Frank Fontaine - The Sweepstake Winner

18 Milton Berle - The Buffalo Song

19 Buffalo Bob Smith - Reminiscences Of Howdy Doody "Right On Through"

 

	Longines Symphonette Society Records SQ-93974, SQ-93975
	Skits, Songs
Enjoy!

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This Day In Comedy: March 24

Born this day in 1905, Al Clouston (Alwyn Vey Clouston) St. John's, Newfoundland comedian, raconteur. He died 10/27/2004 at age 99.
Born this day in 1923, Kermit Schafer was an American writer and producer for radio and television in the 1950s and 1960s best known for his collections of "bloopers". He died 03/08/1979 at age 55.
Born this day in 1953, Louie Anderson (Louie Perry Anderson) is 59, Minneapolis, Minnesota 5'7" stand-up comedian, cartoon series Life With Louie, has written three books, host of 2nd revival of game show Family Feud.
Born this day in 1924, Norman Fell (Norman Noah Feld) Philadelphia, Pennsylvania 5'9" actor on TV’s Three's Company and The Ropers. He died 12/14/1998 from cancer at age 74.
Died this day in 2010, Fred Wedlock (Peter Frederick Wedlock) Bristol, England. Born 05/23/1942. He died of a heart attack and pneumonia at age 67.
Died this day in 1990, Ray Goulding (Raymond Walter Goulding) Lowell, Massachusetts comic of duo Bob & Ray. Born 03/20/1922, he died of kidney failure at age 68.

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Tim & Tom - In Concert 1973

Tim Reid	Birth name	Birthplace
Born/Died	Official Site	Wikipedia

Tom Dreesen	Birth name	Birthplace
Born/Died	Official Site	Wikipedia

01 Upset With The Authority
02 Drug Addict Interview
03 The Mating Game
04 Hats And Militants
05 Racial Problem In Mancato
06 Black For A Day
07 News Report
08 Munchy Monster
09 The Good Ol' Days10 Super-Spade
11 Becoming A Brother
12 Vinnie's Tootsie Rolls13 Meeting Italian Father

Thanks Gritpaperboy!

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This Day In Comedy: March 23

Born this day in 1935, Barry Cryer (Barry Charles Cryer) is 77, Leeds, England comedian, writer.
Born this day in 1939, Bert Berdis is 73, radio’s  Chickenman with Dick Orkin, then The Tooth Fairy, then writer-performers on The Tim Conway Show.
Born this day in 1920, Jimmy Edwards (James Keith O'Neill Edwards) aka Professor Jimmy Edwards, Barnes, London, comedy actor. He died 07/07/1988 pneumonia at age 68.
Born this day in 1964, John Pinette is 48, Boston, Massachusetts 6' stand-up comedian.
Born this day in 1922, Marty Allen (Morton Alpern) is 90, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania stand-up comedian of team Allen & Rossi, one-time door-to-door dance salesman. ”Hello Dere!”
Died this day in 1995, Danny Apolinar Brooklyn, New York, composer and nightclub performer and writer of Your Own Thing a seminal rock musical. Born 02/29/1934, he died of kidney failure at age 61.
Died this day in 1994, Donald Swann (Donald Ibrahím Swann) Llanelli, Wales, British composer, musician and entertainer, comic songs with Michael Flanders. Born 09/30/1923, he died of an intracranial berry aneurysm at age 70.
Died this day in 2001, Toby Wing (Martha Virginia Wing) Amelia Courthouse, Virginia, 5’4” comic relief “dumb blond.” Dated Jackie Coogan. Born 07/14/1915, she died of natural causes at age 85.

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